A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Randomize
