Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I enjoy the company of your penis
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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