Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
