I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
