You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Congratulations! We have a period
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
