New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
