Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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