HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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