therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize