You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
