stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just found a bag of teeth...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
