we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
