We named our party play list daddy issues
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
