Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
