I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
