I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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