drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
