Don't you send me to vm
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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