It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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