There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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