Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
