I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Come share oat with me in your robe
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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