my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
