im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
