it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize