We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
