You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
