I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
