We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
