the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
