??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
