Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
