she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize