it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize