I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was not drunk enough for that final.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
