I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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