i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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