he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
