My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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