Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
