i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
