so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
