I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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