I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize