I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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