I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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