Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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