So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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