she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
