Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
