what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
