Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
