Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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