How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
