): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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