I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
