Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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