i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
