Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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